2007 Chev. Express 1500 Cargo Van, 4.3 V6, Clean title, Automatic Transmission

Chevrolet Express 1500, .3 V6, lean title.
This van looks like it's in mint condition inside and out (if your eyes are closed) and has exceptionally low, ow mileage. (323,627 mostly freeway)
It comes with free workbenches and some big, honkin' padlock hasps on the doors so you can keep the tweekers out of your stuff. (see photos, adlocks not included)
The interior is not too bad if you don't mind a massive hole in the driver's seat and a few random stains of unknown origin.
The headliner is in one piece but good luck keeping the sun visor from flopping around, think it's just kind of a GM deal. The dash and doghouse cover are in shockingly decent condition.
Despite having purchased the vehicle new, have very few repair receipts. Not that the van never needed repairs, 'm just lousy at keeping receipts. Honestly in all the time I've owned the van it's never needed anything major, hese 4.3L engines are darn near bulletproof.
The oil was changed religiously (Lutheran) and the engine seems strong considering the mileage but could use a tuneup. You'll need a jumpstart to get rolling but I have that covered.
The flap over the gas cap will open at low speeds and it will retract the faster you drive. I believe that this function is for added driving stability. Or maybe the gas flap spring is just broken. It's nothing a magnet won't fix.
The windshield has a magnificent, ntricate spiderweb of cracks guaranteed to amaze your passengers.
The rest of the glass is in good shape. All the doors lock and unlock, pen and close and the windows operate as they should. The front driver side tire need to be replaced but hey, bald is beautiful".
There are no electrical issues that I'm aware of but I'm unaware of many things. All the headlights, ail lights and turn signals worked the last time I checked them (sometime in 2014)
The body has 2 dents in the back. The first was from a bad driver with no license or insurance, he second was from an employee with poor driving skills and no common sense.
The back cargo area has benches and racks and there is a bulkhead dividing the front of the cab from the back cargo area. (think hostage containment)
Oh, nd this is awesome: The A/C actually blows pretty cold and the heater gets hot.
Feel free to drop me a line with any questions or to schedule an appointment to come check it out.
This sale is for local pickup only, 'm far too lazy to ship this van anywhere.
Heck, don't even plan on washing it.
I'm in the area of I-17 and Glendale Avenue in Phoenix.
I'm selling this van for $2,500 (I know, ight?!?) for a couple of reasons:
1) even high mileage Express vans are going for stupid money, nd
2) I'm sure that the van is worth at least that much in just spare parts.
What do you have to trade? I'll consider almost anything of value.
Here are a few items that I'd consider for all or partial trade:
1) Professional garage floor coating for a 700 square foot garage.
2) Canadian Maple Leaf gold coins.
3) A dinner date with Scarlett Johansen where she stays in character as Natasha Romanov for the entire evening. -I'll pay for dinner.
4) Airline miles, oupons or tickets.
5) An S&W Governor revolver and perhaps a Glock .40 (not to be used with numbers 3 or 4 above)
6) A cameo role as a zombie on the hit tv show Walking Dead where I get to bite someone before being brutally dispatched.
7) A new set of 4, F Goodrich All-Terrain TA tires, ize 285/75/R16
8) A quad or UTV.
9) An original arcade style, oin operated Defender video game.

· do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers