1997 chevrolet tahoe 4x4

1997 Chevy Tahoe Sport

Let me start off by saying this Tahoe is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Beast of a Chevy would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. It is most certainly not intended to be a family vehicle. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of vehicle you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This truck was engineered by ELITE American Truck Specialists to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. Made when a truck was built for a REAL man. Back before the times of superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what On Star is) and if the technology HAD been around, they wouldn't have put that sissy crap in this baby!

No, this beast comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 5.7 liter 350 V8 engine to outrun the cops (OR out pull). It's got a special blood/gore resistant interior (rhino-lined interior). It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. This Tahoe also has an automatic Beast transmission with aluminum sided Z-Pack and external cooling system, so if you're being chasin ISIS, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the split window and drive at the same time.

It has room for you and up to 4 additional hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self-cooling machine gun. It also has something that is so hard to find (and damn important when you need it if you know what I mean) LARGE BENCH SEAT in OK condition, the leather interior will help to protect it from love or any carnage that may come your way.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $4200, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $2,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 156,000 ORIGINAL miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a glass of Kentucky Bourbon while listening to Johnny Cash.

Features:

-1997 Chevy Tahoe 4x4 5.7liter 350 V8. Sport with Barn Doors (hard to find)

-6” Ranchero Lift Kit

-35”x12.5” Falcon AT tires with 15”rims, front tires may need to be replaced with in the 6 months.

-Beast Transmission with aluminum sided Z-Pack and external cooling system, less than 5-years old

-K&N In-Take large cone with custom box

-Front end skid plate, extends from bumper to A-Arms. Lower motor/oil pan, transfer case, and gas tank skid plates.

-Interior carpet removed and rhino lined for easy cleaning

Replaced in the last 20k miles:

-Shocks

-Break lines, calipers, drums and rotors

-4X4 Drive shaft

-Rear U-Joints

-steering gear box

-Pittman Arm

-Radiator

-Power Steering Hose

-Water Pump

-Battery

-Dual exhaust pipes with glass pack and dumpsters

-Front end wheel bearing kit

-Differential fluid/gasket (rear axel)

-Head gasket

Repairs still needed:

-Idler Arm (comes with part, can replace prior to sell with negotiation)

-Rear over-head speakers